Before Target took away their gender-divided toy sections, there were divisions in bright, bold colors. Blue and pink pegboards divided toys that were meant for boys and girls. There’s large part of me that loves breaking the stereotype. Maybe you are like me too.

There were some building sets in the pink section, but most of them were sitting in the blue aisles. All the cooking and food toys were in the pink aisles, even a candy bar making kit. Gender roles were color-coded and over-simplified.

This color-coding is dangerous, isn’t it? It can trap us, bring us to judge others, and make us question God-given abilities. I want girls to pick up building blocks and dream of building skyscrapers when they grow up. I want boys to play with cooking toys and dream of becoming chefs at restaurants. I want to see the next generation not trapped by stereotypes and expectations.

But, here’s my question to you – What happens when you are the stereotype?

Things like being compassionate, emotional, fashionable, hospitable, and nurturing. These are things that are stereotypically feminine. Not explicitly feminine, but typically feminine. It’s not about forcing yourself into gender roles, but it’s also not about forcing yourself out of them.

Of course fighting to break patterns that can trap, isolate, and limit is a worthy cause that should not be stopped. But if we aren’t careful, it can also deny the beauty we have been born with, made with, and given to bless others.

Ladies, we are made female on purpose. 

Let that sink in. Being a woman is a honor we owe God who created and purposed us to explore that.

I grew up in what I call a post-women’s rights era. Women were fighting for equal pay for equal work, but overall women around me weren’t fighting for the right to work. Women could vote, get an Ivy League education, and get a credit card without gender discrimination. (Things that couldn’t happen in 1920, 1969, and 1974 respectively). Instead I grew up in an era of fighting stereotypes. Going against the grain is cooler, being ‘one of the guys’ is better, and being the queen bee is an honor. We’ve put ourselves in a position where it’s better to be less feminine.

Being a woman is an honor. There’s leadership to be had in femininity that women have been hiding, denying, or ashamed of. We have been gifted with femininity to lead from, care for, and encourage with. Together we can honor womanhood by understanding:

1) It’s not about being better than the guys. It’s not about competition and comparing. It’s about affirming, supporting, and celebrating how God has gifted us (and them).

2) It’s not about being better than other women. It’s not about competing with other women, wives, and moms. The temptation is there for all of us to compare, judge, and criticize. It’s about being for other women, encouraging them to lean into their talents, interests, and strengths.

3) It’s knowing you are a woman for a reason. You are a unique mix of vulnerable, bold, compassionate, serious, nurturing, and the list goes on. This is how you were made on purpose. God gave you a way to let those words tell His story. God has made you on purpose, and for everything that He has made you interested in, good at, and skilled with – there’s an opportunity to lead in that.

As we each approach womanhood differently, would you join me in rediscovering femininity? Let’s pick up what makes us each women. Let’s really understand that being a woman is an honor and together let’s learn how that might advance good in our homes, relationships, and communities.