There’s a couple I know who doesn’t drink coffee. Yet coffee and creamer is on their grocery list and Starbucks K-cups on their Christmas list. A stocked coffee bar sits off their living room set up for guests when they visit. They live in a large home, with a curvy driveway where there’s always room to park. In the downstairs bathroom, you’ll find more items on the shelf for you than for them. They are set up in decorative baskets, like at a bed and breakfast – lotion, medicine, emergency products.

They take care of people. And they do it with their home, their belongings, and their grocery list.

The words hospitality and leadership don’t automatically link. But, there’s a striking connection here. There’s leadership to be had in making people feel comfortable, welcome, and taken care of. There’s purpose in these moments. And leaders know how to make moments count. 

I have a short list of movies that I can watch over and over again. I’m a reluctant movie-watcher, but once I’m in, I’m a loyal fan. They are normally complicated stories, with complex timelines, quirky characters with major flaws, and a not-so-obvious love story.

And then there’s 27 Dresses. I can watch it over and over again. If you haven’t seen it, 27 Dresses is a romantic comedy where a woman is so good at being a bridesmaid that it takes on the energy of a second job. Maybe your favorite scene is when Kevin, a journalist, and Jane, the bridesmaid, sing-along to “Bennie and the Jets.” Or maybe it’s the fashion show of Jane’s 27 dresses.

For me, I’ve always been drawn to the conversation between Jane and Kevin as she registers gifts for her sister, who’s wedding she’s planning. Kevin begins to make fun of wedding registries. Jane on the other hand, refutes that the gifts are not just stuff.

“To you, it’s just another casserole dish. To Tess, it’s the pot she’s going to cook my mother’s Christmas roast in.”

She goes on:

“And this isn’t just another vase. …This is the vase that Tess will get out when George brings home flowers, just because he felt like it.”

The scene is funny. And it ends with them deciding to work together and register the engaged couple for the ugliest things in the store. But there’s truth next to the humor, isn’t there? The things in our homes are more than just stuff. They are the items we make our memories around and take care of people with. Our things are a way to serve those around us.

On the surface, vanity and hospitality can have the same appearance. Caring about our things can seem petty. Material objects – our cars, belongings, even the condition of our homes – can be used to intimidate and show off. The stuff we surround ourselves with can feed into gluttony, vanity, and pride. But when the heart motive is hospitality, it becomes leadership, not showing off. 

When we consider the needs of others, that’s leadership.
When we help others to feel more comfortable, that’s leadership.
When we spend our resources to be sure others are welcome and taken care of, that’s leadership.
And there’s nothing petty about that.

Back to that couple I know. They’ve set up their home for community, for moments, for caring for others. Their driveway can easily fit half a dozen cars. They have a dining room table that seats at least eight, a living room that seats at least nine, and a patio that seats dozens. They’ve made community and others so much a priority in their life it changed what they filled their home with. They take care of people. And they do it with their furniture, their grocery list, and their stuff.

It’s likely there are people you know that have built their lives and homes around others. They don’t drink coffee, but they have a coffee station set up. They don’t have young children, but they have a bucket of toys tucked behind the sofa. They are so good at being others-centric that when visitors come over it’s second nature.

So here’s the challenge I leave you with. Maybe you are really not great at this, but you see it in others. Let’s learn from them, but also encourage them. There are people you are thinking of now, aren’t there? Next time we are taken care of in a tangible way, let’s appreciate it for what it is – leadership. Thank them with your words.

And if taking care of others is something that makes your pulse race and you feel alive doing it, lean into it more. You have something very special; you can lead through hospitality. Take a minute to dream why God has gifted you in this way. I’m cheering you on, friends! Find ways to give purpose to this very tangible act of leadership you are gifted with.