One typical Monday morning I arrived at work for our weekly team meeting. For no reason other than coincidence, everyone was wearing blue shirts. 

But not me. I stuck out like a sore thumb wearing a shade opposite on the color wheel – coral.

That’s not the only difference between my coworkers and me – I’m the only female. Granted, I currently work in a technology-driven field that attracts mostly males. But, this seems to be a pattern of work environments I’ve had since college. It hasn’t been unusual for me to be the only female in the room. And I’ve gotten very used to the male/female dynamic in the workplace, both Christian workplaces and not.

From my experience and research, I believe that in general men and women have distinct desires that demonstrate the gender gap. We see those differences play out in friendships, romantic relationships, and work relationships. In Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott’s book, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, a wife’s most basic needs are highlighted, including to be cherished and to be known.

The last basic need translates easily into a work relationship – to be respected.  

Here’s how I feel respected in a workplace setting:

• Defended – I cherish knowing that coworkers and bosses have my back. Overall, the feeling of being known by your workmates provides an incredible feeling of safety, knowing your motivations, your work ethic, and your abilities. This translates to personal life as well. I find comfort in knowing how my male friends will talk about me and to me.

• Acknowledged – As women, I often feel that I’ve been conditioned to believe I am overlooked and undervalued. Comments that show me that I’m trusted and relied on as a coworker can go a long way.

• Safe – One way to create safety in a work environment is through conversation. I believe that keeping a lid on sexual innuendoes builds security in relationships. Ladies, I admit it, there’s a temptation to feel like one of the guys. We can get jealous of their boy’s club sometimes. But entertaining a sexual joke is not the way to go. Somehow it violates a part of us as females. And guys, I get it, it would be humorous if you said “that’s what she said” after that office comment. But think about if it’s worth it. Personally when I’m in an environment, particularly one that I’m paid to be in for 40 hours a week, I prefer to feel safe and protected throughout my workweek. 

This is just the beginning on a larger conversation. Continue reading my posts if you are interested in topics surrounding women in the workplace. I have a lot more to say and a lot more to learn. Join me for the ride!