Crying in front of people is awkward. Our faces make uncontrolled gestures, our skin gets flush, and our eyes redden and well up with tears. If we try to talk through it, it can get even worst! There might even be gasping, squeaking, and loud sobs. It’s embarrassing to display these involuntary gestures.

Jesus wasn’t afraid of his tears.

We see it in the Gospel of John. Jesus reacts to sorrow as many of us do – getting frustrated and crying. Jesus cried. In front of people. In front of enough people for John to write it down. I’m not sure what Jesus looked like when He wept, but He did it public enough for me to know about it 2,000 years later. Thankfully, Jesus navigated the world with the same emotions that we are bound to. He was not only compassionate, but He was vulnerable with His compassion. 

I’ve heard it described this way – we lead people through our strengths and connect people through our weaknesses. In the common sense of the word, vulnerability is a weakness. It’s an adjective meaning capable of being attacked, open to criticism, and difficult to defend. (Ouch, not great sounding so far.) Other words for vulnerable are defenseless, exposed, sensitive, unsafe, and weak. (Yikes, that sounds even worse.)

But could leading with vulnerability be one of the strongest, boldest, and truest thing you and I could do?

I believe women have been gifted the opportunity to lead from vulnerability. And somewhere for most of us, something or someone has told us that being vulnerable is weak. But that’s not the case. Looking at Jesus’s life, He led from a place of vulnerability.

Leading with vulnerability doesn’t need to look like crying in front of people. But it is putting what is awkward and uncomfortable out there. Leading from vulnerability looks like apologizing when it can be overlooked. It looks like sharing creative thoughts first. It looks like walking across the room and encouraging someone. Leading with vulnerability can happen in your workplace. It can happen in your church. It can happen in your friendships. It can happen in your marriage.

Leading with vulnerability is bold, brave, and thoughtful. It’s is forsaking the awkwardness we are feeling to expose the honest and real. It’s not something women do exclusively. But I have a hunch God built us in a way that vulnerability is easier to tap into. 

A few years ago, I was asked to share a bit of my life story during staff meeting at work. I’ve been challenging myself to vulnerable situations, so I quickly accepted. I wrote out my story and planned to read it word for word. I read it over and over again out loud. I wanted to make sure people could follow along, that it had a through-line, and that it made sense. Also, I was practicing so I wouldn’t get choked up. Did you catch that? I was practicing vulnerability and trying not to be vulnerable! 

I mostly got through my story without getting that lump in the back of my throat that I practiced to avoid. And then it happened. I was wrapping up the story and sharing how God has bought us through a few trials and how we are now living amongst those promises. The lump appeared. My voice trembled. I nearly cried in front of my coworkers. And guess what? It was okay!

As I challenged myself to vulnerable circumstances, I became vulnerable with my kids. I apologized to my daughter during evenings when I was stressed out, frustrated, and tired. I took a change of direction when it comes to leading in my workplace; I led with a mindset of servanthood. I let my community see behind the curtain of my life, my family, and my home. I hosted people at my home and didn’t feel the need to toss out excuses if my dishes weren’t done or my kids spent the evening having tantrums.

And don’t get me wrong, these were choices. As I explored vulnerability the awkwardness didn’t go away, but it was easier and more worth it than I could have imagined.  

As women we have the opportunity to lead from vulnerability. Being honest and vulnerable could be one of the strongest things you and I can do. Choosing a posture of vulnerability can allow others the permission to be vulnerable. We all have the gift to be influencers and this looks different for each of us. As we search our lives there are many areas in our lives where we can lead from vulnerability – as daughters, wives, mothers, co-workers, leaders, and friends.