“This is a honey disaster!,” my then 3-year old son very seriously looked at me and said.
We were making homemade gummy bears from a kit he got for Christmas. A kit he’s been begging to use since unwrapping it on December 25. We picked the lemon gummies for him and cherry for his sister.
He said it looked like honey as we were mixing it, which was a great observation. It was yellow and sticky. When I began to spoon the honey-like mixture into the molds, things began to go off the rails.
“Did you know mistakes help you learn?”
Enter my 5-year old into the scene. My daughter repeated her kindergarten teacher’s words to me.
The words echoed in my head as the lemon gelatin solidified as I tried pouring it into the tray to make gummies. Everything was sticky and not going where it was supposed to. The mixture was sticking to the spoon and my hands, instead of dropping delicately into the molds. The instructions said a batch should fill the entire tray. We should have a dozen of each gummy shape. We had about three each.
It was, in fact, a honey disaster.
Did you know that mistakes help you learn? Sure, I intellectually understand this. But wow, do I hate making them! I don’t mind as much when others make mistakes. I have grace and compassion for them. But goodness, don’t let it be me.
The first time I publicly read the scripture to the congregation during a Sunday service at my church, I felt like I failed. I said some words wrong. I stumbled. I started noticing my reflection in the screen of the iPad I was reading from. As I walked to my seat after reading the scripture I felt like a failure.
But I gave myself a pep talk that day. Here’s what I told myself: I didn’t have practice.
I didn’t have the practice of reading scripture in front of my church community. I didn’t have the experience of actually doing it to teach me valuable lessons along the way. It’s easy for me to ask, “Why not let someone else do it?” Someone who wouldn’t have stumbled or read words wrong. Someone who is good at commanding the room. Someone who could have done it better. But sometimes, God is calling us to the plate and we just need some practice.
I too often relate to Moses as he negotiated with God that he wasn’t the right choice to led His people into the promised land. “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?,” Moses says in Exodus 3:11 (NIV). Then after a long pep talk from God, Moses says: “What if they do not believe me or listen to me…” (Exodus 4:1). Keep reading and God shows him a miracle and Moses still says: “Please send someone else.”(Exodus 4:13).
Please send someone else.
That verse is heartbreaking. No, Moses. He’s sending you. You are called and He will equip you!
How many times have I said “Please send someone else” in my own way to God? When I’m so gripped by the fear of making a mistake I miss the journey God has for me?
How precious are those moments of practice? Some days they might feel like failing. Mistakes often feel more like embarrassment than growth, more like failure than progress.
I need practice. We all do. I need practice at writing and speaking. I need practice at parenting and relationships. I need practice at cooking and fixing things. Sometimes we see these opportunities of practice more as chores than opportunities. Just as we need practice to learn, we can extend the opportunity of practice to others as well.
I hope you never forget that mistakes help you learn. We need to remind ourselves that when God is calling us to do something, He doesn’t want perfection, He wants obedience. Here’s to the next time we hear ourselves telling God to “send someone else,” that we flip the narrative to “Okay, God. Have grace on me as I practice.”