Everyone wants to be special, but no one wants to be different.
Everyone want to be special because special stands out and is exalted and honored and celebrated. Different is isolated and defensive and weird.
Special is noticed and adored. But, standing out when you’re different, that’s another story.
Special is always the ‘us’ — a better, cooler, prettier us.
Different is the ‘them.’
My heart aches because Heaven isn’t filled with ‘us’ and ‘them.’ Heaven isn’t segregated. And the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth isn’t meant to be segregated either.
What do our communities need?
We need discomfort. We need to be shoulder to shoulder with others who don’t look like or sound like us. In our neighborhoods, communities, workplaces, churches, and digital spaces we accidentally and intentionally filled the space around us with more of ‘us.’
We are robbing ourselves the gift of influencing and being influenced. We are ignoring the challenge to mentor and be mentored. We are hiding away the gift of learning from ‘different.’
What if things could change?
Different would be raised up and not pushed to the side. Different would be centerstage and not behind the curtain. Different would be praised and not segregated. Different would be honored by its boldness and not questioned out of fear. Different would be embraced, so that more different may be welcomed and different will no longer stand alone. Different would grow to be a part of ‘us’ and not more of ‘them.’
Let’s imagine what it would be like if we didn’t hold stereotypes as borders for friends. Let’s imagine what it would be like if we had as diverse of Facebook friends as our city demographics. Let’s imagine what questions would be like without the ‘awkward’ and with all of the ‘care.’ Let’s create a reality where ‘us’ of over time becomes as diverse as our communities should be.
Can that be our goal? A collected challenge as a people? To honor others and include their stories and history. To not take someone at face value, but also to honor the legacies that have come before them. To aim for a place in our churches, cities, and neighborhoods where there is no dividing line, but only ‘us.’
Let’s no longer settle for comfort and convenience. We are robbing ourselves of a multi-generational, multi-ethnic setting to learn and love. Let’s trade the unknown to listen and learn. Let’s sit under the listening ear of someone we don’t know. Let’s give ourselves the gift of being influenced by others with stories not like ours. Let’s read about, befriend, and seek out relationships that are different.
Let’s begin with at least the awareness that the space around us is less than what it could be when we are all the same.
We need the gift of different.